something to brighten up a blech day

[frolijahfan]

An e-mail from my sister:

This is TOO good! Yes, this IS what they would do if they were still here!
Read on:

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on....

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No.. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'..............

And 4-6 inches, my butt! We've got at least a foot (which I know is nothing compared to the east coast, but still...) They hadn't plowed my street, so I got stuck multiple times. It took almost half an hour for two neighbors pushing and shoveling to help me get back into the driveway. The director had to come and pick me up to get me to work. And in the process, something must have gotten scraped because the neighbor said that I was leaking anti-freeze. Grrrrr. I should send the director the bill.

Comments

[ex-lbilover.livejournal.com]

ROFLMBO!! That is so perfect, omg. Thank you for sharing that! And boy, your director sure wants to make sure you go to work! :( That really sucks about your car, too. Yes, you should send her the bill!!

*hugs*

[frolijahfan.livejournal.com]

The really sad part is that my friend E. (one of our reference librarians) had the same thing happen to her trying to get out of her garage. She, too, is now dripping anti-freeze (we must have gotten some really mean nasty snow that attacks the undersides of cars or something):(. And the director had to bring her in to work, too! (Although the director got stuck in her driveway for a bit, too--the "first time" she's ever gotten stuck in this vehicle *malicious grin*). We haven't had much business today, although it's picked up this afternoon after the snow stopped. If she'd even done a delayed opening it would have given the city time to plow, but she firmly believes that we owe it to the public to be open no matter what.

Your snow and bird pictures were lovely. My backyard doesn't have the birds, but we can almost match you for snow!
*hugs back*

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

That's so funny. Who's on First is one of the most hilarious skits ever done, and this is a perfect modernization of it.

Sorry about your car. I think we got over two feet of snow here, and it's drifted a lot too. We'll be snowbound for at least a couple of days, I think.

[frolijahfan.livejournal.com]

It was just too funny to keep to myself.
I'd say we've got about 12-15 inches, but at least they've gotten some of the side streets plowed so that we're not totally snowed in. Although I can't say that I'm going to be doing any extraneous driving for the next few days--except, of course, for getting the car checked. Hopefully it won't be a major repair bill. *crosses fingers*